Oliver at TBLOD blog

2008-03-30T21:47:00.002+01:00

Update on New Year entry

If you read my New Year blog about planning your year ahead and chose to do nothing then fair enough. However there is an interesting verse in Amy Macdonald’s Mr Rock and Roll:

He says "I wish I knew you, I wish I met youWhen time was still on my side"

A different take on Carpe Diam!

Watch Amy here

2008-03-30T21:39:00.003+01:00

Crises of Trust

There seems to be a crises of trust in Europe. Twice since Christmas I have been asked, whilst in supermarkets, to open my bag in case I had stolen a piece of Camembert or ssimilar. This would not have happen in times when you did not have to take your own bag with you – either that or carry twenty items of shopping home in your arms! In my 47 years I have never - repeat never - been asked this before but now twice in 6 months! The most that had happened to me was a refusal to sell me alcohol at the age of 15 by a shop on Morningside Road which was fair cop.

In one respect I am flattered at not looking too conservative but another part of me says ‘damned cheek’! It says there is an assumption of guilt when I enter the store and as such I think I will choose not to! Loyalty = zero! The French news say one of their better known stores are videoing staff as they work – not just me then! To me this is all part of an erosion of the contract that says ‘we will treat each other reasonably unless we have cause to do otherwise’. Without this the ‘good will’ vital to our interdependence will disappear.

This raises issues for how we treat each other generally - in work and society and the matter of loyalty. That is why we have understanding and building trust as a standard part of our leadership programmes. Click here.

2008-03-16T21:06:00.003Z

My Favourite Things

I have a magazine folder at home simply called “Nice People” - it sits between 'Jeep' and 'Outdoor Clothing and Gear' on the bottom shelf of the bookcase! In that folder go bits of paper and feedback when folk have said something nice to me.

I keep them because when I get really fed up with human nature I remember the nice things people have bestowed – my favourite things - just like Julia Andrews. Then I feel better.

2008-03-09T19:35:00.003Z

Coaching

Coaching is really a mainstream part of any organisations' or individuals' performance tool kit. It is now refined to quite specific approaches for expediency and effect.

However the role of coach is not new to any of us. My 'wee boy' had the services of a coach aged 4 when at age 2 he first stayed with his morning minder. Now age the age of 3 the role is passed to him with the arrival of a new baby to the minders care! Although not coaching as we think of it, he is there to question and help.

At home do we not find ourselves asking what and why on a regular basis? Questioning - coaching!

2008-02-23T16:17:00.003Z

"If anyone wants a lift jump on"

2008-02-18T21:05:00.004Z

44 - The Age of Self Impossed Discontent

Interesting the findings of a recent survey that the unhappiest time of a persons life is 44 when apparently:

“Most people start out thinking they can accomplish anything when they are young. As they grow older they begin encountering challenges, moving into different careers, life circumstances and dealing with problems they just can’t defeat. “

See this article click here

I was dumb struck recently when it was bought to my attention that someone found my personal vision demoralising – not because of its content but because it highlighted the lack of content of the commentators.

This to me answers much of the 44 pissed off issue. To me, and it is my perspective, people don’t hit a wall, they run out of vision. To make matters worse they ran out of vision the moment the stopped creating it at the age of 16.5. When they last considered ambition and before they started to get by!

Last year was my toughest yet - on a personal front - and in many ways, also one of my best. I am sure what gave me a purpose to navigate from the present in the togher times was a sense of future.

If you are not sure what next, then have a look at the first post of 2008 and see what you can caft as your vision.

2008-02-05T17:35:00.000Z

Our New Teambuilding Challenge – The Forth Challenge

Shane Watson has written a tongue in cheek but very astutely article in the Sunday Times Style Magazine entitled ‘Let the Bad Times Roll’. In it she comments:

“A day lying around in your cashmere lounge suits, contemplating your gorgeous lives, is definitely less bonding than clearing up after burst pipes have destroyed a couple of years worth of homemaking”. Click here to read the whole article.

No doubt about it people rise to a challenge and done right it brings people together in a way that perfect conditions just don’t. We all like good times but they are good when juxtaposed to a challenge. However what would be the effect of putting the two together? Challenging Fun or course!

For challenge, fun and team development to all happen at the same time, relevance to the world in which we live is essential. That is exactly what we are doing in our latest team building event – The Forth Challenge. Click here for more.

2008-01-05T18:28:00.000Z

The start of 2008 is an opportunity. Everyday is an opportunity but there is something about the start of a year that is different – fresh perhaps. Maybe that’s because at the end of the year we look back thus the start we look forward?

Going into the New Year I am focusing on 2 things:
What I what to do, achieve and become in 2008
What I want to leave behind in 2007

I am asking these questions of 4 key areas; myself, family, community and professional lives.

Then I am looking at growth. What will that mean in 2008? Growth needs space and challenge.

Space to think differently and time to do differently. Space comes about when you let go of what is currently occupying it. Leaving things behind or accommodating them in a different way will create space and time.

Challenge comes from doing new stuff outside your comfort zone. Challenge needs a vision, goals and projects. Without challenge we become comfortable and eventually dissatisfied and stagnant. It doesn’t feel like dissatisfaction because we met it originally as that old friend of the emotions comfort and didn’t notice it change.

Former Harvard professor Jeffrey Rayport said:
‘Don’t squander the chances to make a difference in the world because of the comfort of inaction… Listen to your passions…And then do something truly great.’

If you are keen to do, be and achieve different things, here’s some help.

Madonna and Jump – first line:
There's only so much you can learn in one place, the more that I wait, the more time that I waste!
Watch it here and think about it

The Case of the Bosai Manager
Amazon says: In this world, the inclusive, intuitive and humane style of management will work, not the top-down approach - and here is an author uniquely placed to tell us how.
I say this book, recommended to me by one of my Indian students, is written by an experienced senior manager who 'gets it'. The book really has you challenging yourself as well as being very accessible.
See it here

Life Coaching for Dummies
I hate the name of these series however the books are a good reference. This one by Jeni Mumford is just a great practical, easy to understand and non prescriptive mentor for developing your goals.
See it here

Lots of other great reads are on our resources page – click here

I hope your year ahead gives you everything you plan for,

Oliver (and Thomas)

2007-12-17T21:43:00.000Z

Managing Emotions

The secret to regulating emotions is self awareness and space. I recently took the opportunity to go diving whilst working evenings in the Middle East. It was a while since I had been and I quickly found myself moving fast towards entering the water whilst realising I could not remember as much as I really needed to.

Awareness and space came into play. With this consciousness and a few minutes pause I was able to gather my thoughts and ask for the necessary guidance and support.

It was still a case of ‘get good fast’ but at least I knew how I felt, why and had a plan to address it! This is true of many situations in life when the alterative might be to become overwhelmed.

2007-12-02T21:19:00.000Z

My Mum, 7th June 1925 - 26th November 2007

My mum, Marguerite or Maggie as she was known to her friends was born in Southsea in 7th June1925, the second of two children in a Naval family. Bought up during the war in such a place could not have been easy but she never mentioned it. As a youngster she suffered TB but only spoke of the fun in her brother Howard pushing her wheel chair.

The sea and water played a big part in her life and subsequently ours with many paintings in our house as testimony.

This spirit of adventure was evident throughout her life.

On leaving school she enlisted the British military Mission and went to Cairo in 1945 then on to Greece. These places, the people and experiences they bought always remained fond memories for her.

She met my father John at the Portsmouth sailing club and after an initial poor impression bought about by her adventurous attire, married in 1951.

Her spirit of adventure continued with their first house being a converted motor torpedo boat where the family started with Rupert.

She inspired my father to complete his university education then on moving to Reading, devoted the next few years to the family.

From 1968 to on 1971 we lived in Zambia where I have clear memories of her running the the house and starting on the journey of her real passion in life art.

On returning to Britain and moving to Scotland she ambitiously undertook her dream of studying art at the Edinburgh College of Art. I can clearly remember the hours she put into this and us. We often comment on how she would be hoovering the house at midnight and through redoubling her effort achieve the dual roles of mother and student.

She made us a comfortable, stylish, beautiful and different home and put a real effort into things like Christmas and parties. Her sense of design we still apply in our own way.

She was immensely loyal to each and every member of her family in an unconditional manner.

On completing her programme she put her efforts into the education and enlightenment of others. It was this part of her life that was really, to my mind, the most fulfilling personally for her. She had the opportunity to exercise her skills, help many others and make many friends. She could bring pictures to life for others.

Gentleness, a sense of humour, fun, playfulness, liveliness and artistic flair – some of the words others use to describe her.

In recent years she attended the Eric Liddell day centre; a group that does superb work in supporting and providing a fulfilling direct for others. As a lively participant, I do believe it was her who introduced dance to the group who had perhaps thought those days a little in the past.

In all things she was a very generous person. Of her time, inspiration, possessions and good will. Of her council – not always wanted but usually needed.

To me personally she has left a big legacy. She seemed to have a confidence in others that that at times we did not have in ourselves. She was an excellent judge of girlfriends!

Although she has gone from us physically, to me she gave me still makes up a big part of my everyday life.

2007-10-31T21:13:00.000Z

Perception is everything?

I am not sure about that. When Thomas was born I was contacted
by the hospital at 07.00 Sunday morning and told to get myself there sharp.

I set off to Dundee Ninewells Hospital from Bridge of Earn and got as far as the dual carriaged on-ramp to the motorway. Half way up the ramp my tyre blew out. Panic.

As there was zero traffic and it was dual carriageway I gently reversed down the ramp to park and ‘phone a friend’.

Another driver entered the ramp and despite it being void of cars and 07.15 on a bright Sunday morning and two lanes wide, insisted on blasting his horn and gesticulating my insanity.

I have ponder what this pleasant fellow traveller would have done in my situation. Flat tyre, clear road and baby in delivery.

I am sure he is a far more measured person than I and would have forgone the delivery and rather stood politely with his warning triangle awaiting the AA.

I honestly don’t think perception is everything. To me the truth is what counts.

Today someone said to me 'perception is everything'. I take the point but we need to be sure our perceptions are valid!

Perception is important, no doubt about it. It is the communication of your good intentions. But integrity is those intentions and that is what lets you sleep at night.

2007-10-24T22:33:00.001+01:00

Crossing the Rubicon

There is a point in our development that requires the transition from one plane of thinking to another – from practical to conceptual. Post Graduate students are selected for their ability to either make or have made this transition. It is more important than any previous exam marks they have.

This transition is the toughest point at which a trainer can meet a group. For some people it is an easy transition, for others a long and painful struggle.

Enthusiastic new team leaders grab onto the knowledge you pass as lifelines to the way forward. They operate in the easier of the worlds

More advanced leaders share concepts and enjoy the challenges of a more conceptual world as food for the mind.

However those crossing the Rubicon hang on to the present like reluctant teenagers being ask to consider a life outside the parental home. In need of a break for the benefit of all but not quite able to take that leap, they see any purveyor of a challenge – even those desperate to serve their interest – as a foe.

It is not their fault. It is like me asking my 3 year old son to be rational. They have no concept of what is meant by it.

This is a tough time for them and their helpers. Some will never cross the Rubicon and it is perhaps wrong that they be asked to.

Others will thank their battle weary parents later.

Still it doesn’t make it any easier for those trying to help to know this!

2007-10-24T21:56:00.000+01:00

Greece is moving fast

Over the last 5 years working with Post Graduate students on my annual trip to Athens I have seen a massive change. Not just simple things like cultural changes in time keeping but in the overall optimism and a move away from a culture of dependency and resigning to the status quo toward and optimism and energy for the future. I am sure the Olympics helped but there is more too it than that. I hope we are keeping pace with this modern European mindset!

2007-10-08T20:56:00.000+01:00

I am not sure why but I am certain I loved my son long before I met him. When he was born it was just a case of meeting that person. To me that was part of the unconditionality of it all – a new word I know.

I wonder about leaders. Love is not the word here but to care and be committed to those you lead prior to meeting is perhaps part of the recipe that differentiates great from merely good leaders.

2007-09-23T21:12:00.000+01:00

The value in others

A udeful and rewarding exercise with teams is to have people produce a positive comment about each of their colleagues. Occasionally I am confronted by an individual who draws a complete blank on this. That is a complete and utter blank – they look pleadingly as if asking what the hell they are to say. It is as though I have asked them to consider and comment upon astrophysical dilation's in the 4th delta of the harmonium solar system. Try Googling that one!

This is in no way connected to their likability or competence. The closest I can get to reasoning this is that it has never crossed their mind to even think about this.

However to me an appreciation of the value in our partners through life is essential if we are to create mutually beneficial relationships in which we all prosper.

2007-09-16T14:18:00.000+01:00

A surprise every day

This and last week saw us circled by dolphins whilst running teambuilding courses from Cumbrae. An amazing experience for everyone on what were a great couple of courses.

2007-09-16T14:14:00.000+01:00

Pontius Pilate famously asked “what is truth”

As the Madeline case continues it is bought into our focus that that there are many truths that we just don’t know and in life some we just don’t want to know as with them comes a responsibility to act and that might be just too greater task.

Truth and trust are inexplicably linked. My little boy walks along the wall in our garden and drops himself into my arms below without my asking. I find this quite a daunting responsibility. ‘What if I am not ready to accept that trust’ I ask myself. What if I am just not prepared? But that trust is all a reward and with that reward is pay for with responsibility.

Click here for further reading on this

2007-09-05T14:15:00.000+01:00

Sieze the Day

The Film Dead Poet Society started and based itself on that most famous of phrases ‘Carpe Diam’ or as Mr Keating said ‘seize the day’. Click here to see it.

This summer someone commented to me that as a child when their family visited anywhere, their role was to watch – not to participate but to watch. The participation was for everyone else; the bolder, the richer, the lucky ones whatever.

This week one of my course participants said that on the course it was great to do rather than just watch!

My view on this is that life is short enough, not a spectator sport. Therefore as Mr Keating says ‘seize the day boys, seize that day’!

2007-08-30T22:51:00.001+01:00

The Goat Man

The goat man I met in the Alps this summer is struggling because ‘someone’ does not want him to put his goats on their land anymore
Why?
Because he is sore that the planning department say he cannot build on the land and make buckets from property sold to tourists.
Why are planning saying this?
Because there will be no land left to attract tourists if he does. That doesn't seem to matter even though it's their village!

Capitalism can be a funny thing. When personal gain becomes the sole purpose all other reason goes. As Joni Mitchell said ‘they paved paradise and put up a parking lot’ follow this link if you are bit young for Joni :-)

I never really believed in regulated industry but I am beginning to wonder. Without regulation what would our world become?

2007-08-01T21:41:00.000+01:00

Power

I witness a Mexican Standoff this week as two soles fought for supremacy of an argument, each believing they held the power. It ended into a downward spiral for self preservation. Neither party prepared to give a little to stabilise the situation and thereby getting deeper into it.

“The problem of power is how to achieve its’ responsible use rather than its’ irresponsible and indulgent use - of how to get men of power to live for the public rather than off the public.”

Robert F Kennedy

2007-07-22T22:10:00.000+01:00

"People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be"

Abraham Lincoln

2007-07-22T21:28:00.000+01:00

"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it"

Dennis P. Kimbro

Not sure who he is? click here

We have just come back from a great few days on the West Coast of Scotland. One day it chucked it down - no surprise this summer! Anyway we decided rather than mope around to go to the Sea Life Centre just south of Oban. We had a great time. On return to Loch Melfort the skys cleared and we took the boat over to Jura and the bay with Barnhill Cottage where Orwell wrote 1984. From there we went up to Corryvreckan and played around for a while in the overfalls before returning for a bar meal in Craobh Haven - the end to what was a perfect day!

A day day that could so easily have been a literal washout!

The picture was taken next day and shows us, boat, Jura on left behind and Corryvreckan directly behind.

2007-07-09T22:03:00.000+01:00

A Lesson From Homer - Stay Focused

Continuing the theme of development and focus, a friend of mine this week signposted me to the following link and Homer Simpson. Don't worry it's quite safe and entertaining. The point is how often in organisations and in our private life do we know it's going wrong but do it anyway!

Getting past this really requires us looking from the outside.

"Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think".

Ambrose Bierce

2007-07-01T15:14:00.001+01:00

Timing Is Everything!

We had a major breakthrough this week when 'the wee man' mastered the potty (sorry if its too much detail). Try these things too soon and it they just don't seem to get it, leave it too late and it brings its own problems - social and otherwise I guess! There seems a time when its just the time!

The difference with this though and just 'missing the boat' is that although timing is critical, so is preparation and the careful watch for that opportunity. We were watching, preparing and hoping.

How many opportunities pass us by in our own development because we are just not looking for them.

Each week I go for the horoscope in the Sundays. Strange as I do really believe in them but in its own funny way it makes me look out for things that might just come my way if the time is right.

2007-06-24T16:27:00.000+01:00

The Role of Mentor

Last weekend I had a really fab time with a group of youngsters from a youth group in Glasgow called Active Life. We went to Isle of Cumbrae on one of our Young People’s Programmes – no that I’m that old myself! They were a really great bunch. One of the team said they were surprised that I was not ‘shouting at them’. These guys were well experienced with outdoor centres. Second time I have had this said in less than a year as a group of apprentices said the same thing to me at the same place in November 2006. What’s going down elsewhere, is there a ‘shout for respect policy is in place’? Although my work now is predominantly with adults and companies, I'm not new to this. I was four years at college between 78 and 82 doing nothing but Outdoor Ed. and I don't remember that particular policy on the curriculum!

I have a really clear opinion on this. If we are looking to develop respectful and self confident adults we should treat our young people that way – not like idiots. I have boundaries and if people cross them I am not shy to bring this to their attention. However as role models and mentors we really need to be clear of the messages we are giving off.